Four friends decide to enter an old cave that used to be a mining system. As they enter the mine, they discover a lighting system that, once powered up, makes it far easier to wander around instead of just relying on lighting from their helmets. Soon, they hear strange noises as they wander around, but thankfully, it’s a false alarm. Eventually, the reason for entering the mine is revealed as one of the team members gets down on one knee to propose to his true love. However, the touching moment is short-lived as a crocodile attacks the group and kills one of the members. Making matters even worse, this crocodile isn’t alone, and more of them come out and attack, shedding plenty of blood.
The remaining survivors are trapped underground with a swarm of killer crocodiles, and it’s crunch time. These friends must work together to find a way out before it’s too late. Thankfully, help is on the way. One of the expedition’s family members, Sam (Ella Starbuck), is concerned that there’s been no contact from her sister or the other members of the group who descended into the mine. With no help from the local police, Sam begins to make enquiries on her own. She becomes determined to start a rescue mission and is joined by her friends, who know the mines well enough. The question is, can Sam and her friend find them before it’s too late?
Crocodile Swarm is best described as a horror film directed, written, and produced by Tyler-James, whose past work includes other monster movies such as Montserrado, Dinosaur Prison and Sky Monster. Once again, the director is passionate about providing brainless and straightforward entertainment. Like the director’s previous work in films, Crocodile Swarm includes CGI, which looks cheap and feels made for TV.
Unfortunately, while some audiences will enjoy this film for the wrong reason along the lines of ‘it’s so bad it’s good’, I found Crocodile Swarm to be highly torturous to the point I wasn’t sure if being eaten by a Crocodile would be better or worse. It’s evident the film has been completed on a low budget, and sadly, the film’s CGI lacks any form of realism or tension. The location of the film also seems unrealistic. While watching, we see our leads wandering around a cave that has been well-lit thanks to prebuilt lighting, which is hard to swallow. Plus, how were all the candles in the old lanterns lit? The cave looks more like an attraction, zoo, or theme park; elements like handrails also give it away. Above all, the biggest frustration is the dialogue. To put it nicely, it’s horrendous, as if our leads are in TV soap drama. The leads remain calm even when they witness a close friend being slaughtered by a swarm of crocodiles. There are audio issues, such as during conversations and the background noise. To top all of this, the characters themselves are unlikeable and unwise.
Overall, when you watch Crocodile Swarm and start to wish a crocodile was eating you instead of watching the film, you know you’re watching a horrendous feature. Sadly, this film doesn’t even come close to the ‘it’s so bad it’s good’ category; it’s just wrong. The characters here are silly, but worse is the dialogue, which feels more fitting in a TV midday drama. The story is uninteresting, and the location is unrealistic. The CGI lacks scare and horror, instead looking cheap and fake. The audio track is distracting and is filled with errors, leaving me more surprised that these errors made the final cut. If you’re seeking something painful and silly, go right ahead with this one, but hear my warning loudly: you will regret it.
1.2/10
6th May 2024
Written by Peter Walkden
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